*Sweetened condensed milk. It’s one of those substances that I come across without looking for it or expecting it but then it’s there, in my life again.
So. Here. We. Go.
1. Open-Faced Sugar Margarine SCM Sandwich
A concoction of my uncle’s making:
1 Slice Any Bread (but best if white bread, the best and worst of the breads)
1 Tub Margarine
Granulated White Sugar, to taste
1 Entire Can SCM
Toast the bread so that the margarine will melt when slathered generously (basically obscenely) over bread. Burn bread, a little, for texture, if desired.
Sprinkle (OK, dump) sugar onto toast.
More slathering, this time of the ENTIRE CAN of SCM onto toast/margarine/sugar.
There. You’re done.
2. Snack Time
I have a friend who loves SCM so much, there’s basically no stopping him from consuming every last ounce of it every time he gets his hands on it. His indulgent parents (I love them too) sometimes serve him some, especially when he’s feeling down.
They feed him from a saucer. Like a cat. There is often a spoon.
The below is mostly true.
He’ll eat it from the can, he’ll eat it from the saucer, he’ll eat it from a tube (SCM occasionally comes in tube form – easier access maybe? Faster consumption?). He’ll eat it at the table, reclined on a chair, sitting cross-legged on the rug.
(The above was mostly true.)
It never lasts long, the SCM. It’s always gone so fast.
To my friend’s credit, he offers me some every time. But I can’t partake, not of someone else’s pure, unadulterated bliss like that.
There are limits to what we do share and what we should.
3. Longevity Forever
There is only one “true” brand of SCM for me, and that’s Longevity Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk (Lait Concentré Sucré/Sūa Ôg Tho).
The logo features Shou, the Chinese deity for Longevity:
“According to legend, he was carried in his mother’s womb for ten years before being born, and was already an old man when delivered. He is recognized by his high, domed forehead and the peach which he carries as a symbol of immortality. The longevity god is usually shown smiling and friendly, and he may sometimes be carrying a gourd filled with the elixir of life.”
Or so says Wikipedia. Emphasis added, for affect.
Immortality. Elixir of life. SCM.
Go ahead. Treat yourself.