If I do not know the ordering procedure of a particular eating establishment, I will:
a) Decide to go somewhere else.
b) Eventually convince myself that I am not that hungry after all.
c) Stare on in puzzlement until it’s officially socially awkward for everyone involved.
d) Turn heel. Run home.
e) b & d
f) a & c
Your puppy:
a) Is the most adorable thing I have ever seen. Your puppy has therefore ruined my life.
b) Is the absolute best.
c) I WANT A PUPPY.
d) I cannot afford a puppy right now.
f) All of the above.
What That Guy Said?:
a) “Old.”
b) “Ode.”
c) “Auld.”
d) “Bald.”
e) “Sassafras gonads.”
PUNCTUATION THROWDOWN:
a) .
b) !
c) : OR ;
d) c OR Both
e) c & d
f) How come no one cares about ampersand?
Discreet Flatulence:
a) Acceptable.
b) Diabolical.
c) You ruined it by calling if “flatulence.”
Book or Movie:
a) Book.
b) Movie.
c) Both is not an answer.
c) Both.
You’ll be in:
a) My heart.
b) My thoughts and/or prayers.
c) Deep shit.
d) Shallow Paraguay.
I would love to:
a) Help.
b) Be able to help.
c) Consider helping.
d) Consider being able to help.
e) b, c & d
f) Never a.
Choose Your Fighter:
a) Emperor Penguin.
b) Death Cap Mushroom.
c) Giant Spider.
d) Tiny T-Rex.
e) Haunted Waterslide.
f) Ugly American.
Nonsensical:
a) “Owning the Libs.”
b) “I can fix them.”
c) “I’m sorry if…”
d) “All lives matter.”
e) “Books are dead.”
f) All of the above (plus a few others, TBA).
g) All of the above (but e especially).
Good answer:
a) Yes.
b) No.
Best answer:
a) No.
b) GOD NO.
