Babies, Not Babies

I have a fondness for babies the way most people have a fondness for damp cabbage.

Don’t misunderstand me in a burst of self-indulgent judgement or transposed indignation.

It’s not that I don’t like babies.

My perception of babies is merely different from that of other people.

I was once on a 20+ hour flight full of these. It was so horrific, I'm sure there's a part of me that's still there.

In conclusion, M-E-H.

But I believe I have found the PERFECT solution.

I have begun associating “babies” with the most positive thing that comes to my mind when the thought of babies arises: “not babies”.

Logic therefore dictates that they only way for me to enjoy your baby is to transform it to not baby.  Ergo, not babies are babies are not babies babies.

I’m having my cake and eating it too.

And it’s your baby.

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